da xue ying yu - ni chi le ma? Have you eaten yet? Everything about China in English, including blogs, pictures, videos, a forum and much more. 英文的所有关于中国的东西,包括博客,图片,视频,一个论坛和更多的东西 Blogs|Forum|Pictures|Videos|Jokes|Contact da xue ying yu - ni chi le ma? Have you eaten yet? Everything about China in English, including blogs, pictures, videos, a forum and much more. 英文的所有关于中国的东西,包括博客,图片,视频,一个论坛和更多的东西
The China-World Forum in English
十一月 01, 2014, 12:56:08 am *
你好! 访客. 请先 登录注册一个帐号.

请输入帐号, 密码以及预计登录时间
 
 
   首页   博客 帮助 搜索 聊天室*beta* 日历 商店 相册 登录 注册  
页: [1] 2
  打印  
作者 主题: How Do Chinese Men Express their Feelings  (阅读 6433 次)
Jebbie
Select member
Cadre
*****
离线 离线

性别: 女
United States United States

帖子: 456
Referrals: 0
213.84 credits

View Inventory
Send Money to Jebbie

查看个人资料
« 于: 二月 17, 2008, 01:32:50 pm »

Hi everyone

I haven't posted here for a long time because I've been busy with my Chinese boyfriend. He is my age, 37, from Northern Mainland China, came to USA about 8 yrs ago.

I wanted to ask about how Chinese men express their emotions to the women they love. I think those younger than my BF are more open but he is very different in his self-expression and I am quite sure it is a cultural difference between the two of us.

So, rather than explain what he does to express his feelings to me, I want to post an open quesiton about how do Chinese men express their feelings..... For example, do they say I love you alot or do they show their love in actions more than words... Xie xie.
jebbie
已记录
The China-World Forum in English
« 于: 二月 17, 2008, 01:32:50 pm »

 已记录
Passerby B
Select member
Dragon
*****
离线 离线

性别: 男
China China

帖子: 837
Referrals: 0
1184.96 credits

View Inventory
Send Money to Passerby B

帕萨白B

moorye@hotamil.com

查看个人资料 电子邮件
« 回复 #1 于: 二月 17, 2008, 01:54:12 pm »

What i know is that Chinese men in that age prefer to show their love indirectly, or show their love in actions as you said.

They are comparatively conservative. So it is rare to hear "I love you" from their mouth. And they may feel embarrassed if they were asked to show the love in public.

Hope that gonna be helpful, and good luck, Jebbie.
已记录

Good good study day day up
Jebbie
Select member
Cadre
*****
离线 离线

性别: 女
United States United States

帖子: 456
Referrals: 0
213.84 credits

View Inventory
Send Money to Jebbie

查看个人资料
« 回复 #2 于: 二月 17, 2008, 01:56:42 pm »

Yes, my BF is so shy about showing his feelings in public, he is very resistant to kissing me in public. But I've just come to accept that is part of his culture. I am wondering if he will ever say "I love you!" Huh?
已记录
Da Xue Ying Yu - hidden user
Οὖτις ἐμοὶ γ' ὄνομα
Ambassador
***
离线 离线

性别: 女
China China

帖子: 231
Referrals: 0
2807.96 credits

View Inventory
Send Money to Da Xue Ying Yu - hidden user

Fear no topics!


查看个人资料 个人网站
« 回复 #3 于: 二月 17, 2008, 08:22:26 pm »

Different country, but similar culture perhaps? Wink

"I love you!"
已记录

Hugo ~ 秋文韬
傻样儿~
Administrator
Dragon
*****
离线 离线

性别: 男
Trinidad and Tobago Trinidad and Tobago

帖子: 15,367
Referrals: 1216
65311.60 credits

View Inventory
Send Money to Hugo ~ 秋文韬



查看个人资料 个人网站 电子邮件
« 回复 #4 于: 二月 17, 2008, 08:23:47 pm »

Yes, my BF is so shy about showing his feelings in public, he is very resistant to kissing me in public. But I've just come to accept that is part of his culture. I am wondering if he will ever say "I love you!" Huh?
Hmm, well have you already said that to him? Haha, hope you don't mind my question, but maybe if you said it first, he might follow your lead.

Anyway, I certainly agree with Passerby B's assessment.
已记录

Passerby B
Select member
Dragon
*****
离线 离线

性别: 男
China China

帖子: 837
Referrals: 0
1184.96 credits

View Inventory
Send Money to Passerby B

帕萨白B

moorye@hotamil.com

查看个人资料 电子邮件
« 回复 #5 于: 二月 17, 2008, 10:33:18 pm »

Different country, but similar culture perhaps? Wink

"I love you!"

Huh, fun news.
已记录

Good good study day day up
Jebbie
Select member
Cadre
*****
离线 离线

性别: 女
United States United States

帖子: 456
Referrals: 0
213.84 credits

View Inventory
Send Money to Jebbie

查看个人资料
« 回复 #6 于: 二月 18, 2008, 07:45:13 am »

Well i am afraid to come out and say that to him. I started signing my cards and emails, "love" with my name... But I am so afraid I"ll say that to be met with no response. It's weird because I know how he cares about me but I think he is very shy and somewhat scared based on some past experiences with women.
已记录
Hugo ~ 秋文韬
傻样儿~
Administrator
Dragon
*****
离线 离线

性别: 男
Trinidad and Tobago Trinidad and Tobago

帖子: 15,367
Referrals: 1216
65311.60 credits

View Inventory
Send Money to Hugo ~ 秋文韬



查看个人资料 个人网站 电子邮件
« 回复 #7 于: 二月 18, 2008, 07:20:16 pm »

Hmm, well someone has to say it first. I guess the emails signatures are a start. Wink

Other than that, just give him some more time to be more comfortable speaking out about his feelings. Haha, for all you know he might want to say it, but he also doesn't want to be first for fear of being met with no response. Tongue
已记录

belinda1981
Paper Tiger
**
离线 离线

性别: 女
China China

帖子: 83
Referrals: 0
278.04 credits

View Inventory
Send Money to belinda1981

415785822 belinda_1113@hotmail.com
查看个人资料
« 回复 #8 于: 二月 19, 2008, 08:38:22 am »

Hey Jebbie, glad to share your feeling with us here.
Maybe I'm a little young to analyze man at that age, but in my opinion, person in that age is really conservative just not like the younger generation now. They may express their love more in action than words.
Like HUgo said, if you really care about the sentence"I love you", maybe you can make a good start.
And good luck to you and your boyfirend.Best wishes to both of you. Cheesy
已记录

Cherish people around you.
Pass every day happily.
Happy Belinda!
ryan123
Shayanger!
*
离线 离线

China China

帖子: 13
Referrals: 0
100.52 credits

View Inventory
Send Money to ryan123

查看个人资料 电子邮件
« 回复 #9 于: 四月 13, 2008, 04:18:58 am »

i think everyone is unique,right?everyone has his own personality or habit about doing sth....

since your bf is 37 years old, he might share the typical type of character which chinese man at his age all have,which is paying much attention to the action,and less to the words.....

if he really love you ,i believe what he did to you about everything will give a clue that he loves you,and i am also sure you can feel it very clearly....then,it really doesnt matter that much if he say "i love you"to you or not.....at least, you know he loves you, and clearly he really does...
so,why are you afraid of having no reaponse after saying it to him first? be brave....
已记录
lisa
Paper Tiger
**
离线 离线

帖子: 79
Referrals: 0
322.48 credits

View Inventory
Send Money to lisa

查看个人资料 电子邮件
« 回复 #10 于: 四月 13, 2008, 01:55:22 pm »

well,yeah.Chinese men of that age are very conservative. instead of saying "i love you,darling" frequently, they tend to express their love by actions. what's more, if a Chinese man of that age frequently say"i love you" to you, maybe,he does not really love you so much.heh,that's only my opinion,an opinion from a Chinese comparatively traditional girl.
anyway,wish you two happiness.
已记录
lilan
Shayanger!
*
离线 离线

China China

帖子: 2
Referrals: 0
54.96 credits

View Inventory
Send Money to lilan

查看个人资料 电子邮件
« 回复 #11 于: 四月 19, 2008, 12:10:45 am »

well, i am a chinese girl,  usually we don't say love to each other, but not all. Now many people are more open than before. in my opinion,our  country men, especially some tradtional men ,they don't express their emotions directly,instead they will show it in actions. So don't worry, I think your BF loves you very much,I hope you are happy. Cheesy
已记录
vallenkin
Peon
*
离线 离线

China China

帖子: 34
Referrals: 0
155.24 credits

View Inventory
Send Money to vallenkin

查看个人资料 电子邮件
« 回复 #12 于: 四月 30, 2008, 04:44:17 pm »

i'm a chinese boy, and i do admit that the chinese men maybe more conservative than Americans,but i wanna appeal to the boys here: say"I Love You" to ur gf or ur wife,say it! even though the action is also important. it's not embarrassed at all.
BTW, I said it to my gf, she replied:are u kidding me? :'(
已记录
Hugo ~ 秋文韬
傻样儿~
Administrator
Dragon
*****
离线 离线

性别: 男
Trinidad and Tobago Trinidad and Tobago

帖子: 15,367
Referrals: 1216
65311.60 credits

View Inventory
Send Money to Hugo ~ 秋文韬



查看个人资料 个人网站 电子邮件
« 回复 #13 于: 四月 30, 2008, 04:51:43 pm »

i'm a chinese boy, and i do admit that the chinese men maybe more conservative than Americans,but i wanna appeal to the boys here: say"I Love You" to ur gf or ur wife,say it! even though the action is also important. it's not embarrassed at all.
BTW, I said it to my gf, she replied:are u kidding me? :'(
Yes, it's important to say things in addition to showing them. Tongue

Why did she say that? Huh? Sad Sad
已记录

Ethan
我喜欢吃豆腐!你呢?
Select member
Dragon
*****
离线 离线

性别: 男
Canada Canada

帖子: 2,076
Referrals: 0
17788.96 credits

View Inventory
Send Money to Ethan

compotto@hotmail.com
查看个人资料 个人网站 电子邮件
« 回复 #14 于: 五月 02, 2008, 10:01:57 pm »

i'm a chinese boy, and i do admit that the chinese men maybe more conservative than Americans,but i wanna appeal to the boys here: say"I Love You" to ur gf or ur wife,say it! even though the action is also important. it's not embarrassed at all.
BTW, I said it to my gf, she replied:are u kidding me? :'(

How long have you been with her?! Bit of a heartless response from her unless you haven't been together long.

As a warning to people thinking of saying I Love You, don't say it too early... people wont believe you and some may feel it's very strange.

When I first came to China I went to one bar often and there was a girl there who I really liked and she liked me. We were getting a long well even though I spoke almost no Chinese and her English was terrible as well. Than after about 3 weeks of meeting 2-3 times a week she leaned close to tell me a secret and said "I Love You!", i couldn't stop myself from laughing, she barely knew me and our conversations involved little more than yelling "GANBEI" and very simple words... My answer, after the laugh, was "No you don't. you barely know me!" which I had a friend translate very clearly.

I would never tell a girl I loved her unless 4-5 months have passed, and than it would have to be a really amazing girl. Even if you think you do love her, wait a while longer before you say it, Love and Lust are very hard to tell apart sometimes.
已记录

Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam - My Motto

Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best. - Woody Allen
The China-World Forum in English
   

 已记录
页: [1] 2
  打印  
 
跳到:  

China-World Forum rules. Read them or risk being banned!afro smileyafro smiley
English and Chinese language help - share your knowledge or ask your questions!
Places in China - share your knowledge
Forum Help is available here!
Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.19 | SMF © 2006, Simple Machines | smf.cn
论坛所讨论的话题和语言不代表本站立场
验证 XHTML 1.0! 验证 CSS!
本页花了 0.531 秒, 以及 30 次的数据库查询.